Hi! My name is Josh Montgomery and I’ve seen the movie “Armageddon” four times.
You know the flick: Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck? A bunch of drill jockeys land on an asteroid the size of Texas and engage in various shenanigans as they drill down to blow it up and save the world? Has that awful Celine Dion/Aerosmith song? Terrible science and worse acting? Infinitely inferior to “Deep Impact”?
Yeah, you know the movie, and I’ve seen it four times, which is honestly four times too many. Why would I do this? Why would anyone do that? Well, I was looking for a sort of deeper meaning in it. I know, I know, deeper meaning from the mind of Michael Bay, but I had my reasons. For you see, I’ve watched “Armageddon” four times, but I’ve witnessed Armageddon — the real one — countless times.
I’m not jerking your chain. I’ve been witness to the apocalypse, the actual end of all things, more times than I can count. And I don’t mean the metaphorical my-world-has-just-ended. I mean the END OF THE WORLD. I die. You die. Everybody dies. I don’t go to sleep at night. I’m killed to sleep every night and cursed to wake up again the next morning, everyone but me none the wiser. I don’t know why it’s happening, and I’ve got no proof it’s happening. For all I know, I’m nuttier than Jiff. But I have to face it head on, thus my writing this blog. I’m hoping by recording it, by putting the word out there in some small way, I can figure everything out. And if I can parse out the reasons behind it, maybe — if I’m lucky — I can finally stop it.